Hangover

I missed you. Five years ago, I made a decision to let you go. You were the first guy that really understood me and looked out for me. Five years ago, my inexperience caused you pain. You took to clubbing, getting so drunk that you got thrown out of clubs. Your friends couldn't dissuade you. Five years later, you're still the same guy that looks out for me. You're cleaned up and you've found a new passion-spinning your records in clubs like phuture. Your eyes light up when you explain technical terms to me. I'm delighted for you..

You have a knack of getting me to talk, not just talk per se, but to open up to you. I trust you more than my ex boyfriend, probably because you make me feel special. Two years ago, you came down just for me when I felt lost. Two years later, you're still here for me when I feel lost and confused. You caught me stoning at that particular moment and asked me if I was alright. Most people would have missed that moment of pain but you didn't. My walls came down.

You still remember my birthday, little details that I painstakingly have to remind people around me. You remind me of a small part in stomp the yard "what's my favourite colour?" Even my boyfriend doesn't know I don't wear black dresses.. and how he could hurt...

Two years ago, you let me know that we could still be together but I chose someone entirely unsuitable. Two years later, I'm doubting again.

I would never drink, especially with a guy, alone, in a club... but I did..with you. You're flying again and I wonder when I'm going to ever get to talk to you. You told me that sometimes, some people just don't make good partners. Good boyfriends/girlfriends perhaps, but not partners. Did I cause that pain in you? I didn't dare ask...

You held my hand last night, when we were at Zouk. I felt lost and small in the club but you firmly held my hand and guided me through the crowd. I clung on... your hands feel the same. Warm, firm..

There were things that I wished I said, but I didn't have the courage to.. I'm glad you came for me last night. It softened the pain I felt...

Thank you for staying by me, coming down in times when I feel that I needed someone to talk to but could never find the right one to.. because I have this horrible innate tendency to keep things hidden in my shell. You read me like a book..

I'm proud of you.. for never picking up smoking simply because you didn't like it and because you love sports. I'm proud of your confidence in pursuing your passion even though it's not a mainstream occupation. I'm proud that you don't seek affirmation from others but believe strongly in yourself. You made a difference in someone's life.. I miss you